COMEDY JOKE 002 jokes on sardar practical silly english joking little johnny jewish mama inappropriate math black people joks double meaning comedy irish dumb science best knock knock husband wife in urdu about men funny clean punjabi santa banta hindi rude and halloween jokes
The Worst Death
3 men who all died on the same day were at the
entrance to heaven when god announced that only 1 of
the men will make it in.
The criteria was that the person who died the worst
death will make it in.
God asks the first man how he died he replies
Well for the last 3 weeks I have suspected that my
wife has been cheating on me so I came home early to
catch her in the act.
When I arrive home I hear the shower running so I
search the house for him. I check every room so
eventually I go out on to the verandah, then I see him
hanging on the ledge by his fingers so I jump up and
down on his hands he still holds on. So I get the
hammer and slam his fingers he let's go and falls.
he survives so I get the fridge (which weighs a ton)
and lob it over the edge crushing him
I felt so bad that I killed him I got my gun and shot
myself. That is how I died
The second man explains his story
well it was the afternoon and I was doing my exercises
of my verandah on the 12 floor. When I slipped and
fell off the balcony, luckily I only fell 3 floors and
managed to grab the railing on that balcony I was
hanging on for grim death when some idiot started
jumping on my fingers I clung on so the fool gets a
hammer and bashes my fingers until the bones break so
I fell. I could not believe my luck when I landed in
a bush surviving the fall the last thing I remember is
this fridge hurtling at me.
That is how I died.
The 3rd man explains how he died
Picture this...............I'm hiding naked in a
fridge.
By Brett Dal Salvo
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "a code" to indicate
that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in
on it. They decided on the word "typewriter."
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your
mommy that daddy needs to type a letter." The child told her
mom what her dad said and her mother responded, "Tell your daddy
that he can't type a letter right now because there's a red
ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father
what mommy had said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he
can type that letter now."
The child told her father, and then returned to
her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter,
he already wrote the letter by hand."By Damnisu
What a Difference 30 year makes!
1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair
1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1970: KEG
2000: EKG
1970: Acid Rock
2000: Acid Reflux
1970: Moving to California because it's cool
2000: Moving to California because it's warm
1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children
1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage
1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity
1970: Paar
2000: AARP
1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer
1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM
1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian
1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint
2000: Getting a new hip joint
1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones
1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office
1970: Peace sign
2000: Mercedes logo
1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
1970: Take acid
2000: Take antacid
1970: Passing the driver's test
2000: Passing the vision test
1970: "Whatever"
2000: "Depends"
By Ireni
- jokes on sardar practical silly english joking little johnny jewish mama inappropriate math black people joks double meaning comedy irish dumb science best knock knock husband wife in urdu about men funny clean punjabi santa banta hindi rude and halloween jokes